When we started this journey a wise doctor told us there are going to be good days and bad days. I think what he should have said is there will be bad days and worse nights.
Mom doesn’t want to be alone, especially a night. Death isn’t necessarily as scary as it was to me last week. It’s the the process of dying that’s a bitch. Dying alone? Well that brings her terror. We all know this, and so we’re surrounding her all day, and all night. Some well meaning person told me that we have to get her “trained” to be without us. This is my mom. She’s dying. I think I’ll pass on training her. '
I’ve officially lost all sense of time in this place and for my mom it’s worse. She’s gotten into a situation where she’s wide awake a 2am and wanting to read the paper and nodding off to sleep while eating lunch. We had to warm her lunch 3 times the other day because she kept falling asleep.
She was moved to a skilled care facility that will act as a hospice for her. Hospice is an intentionally well “semanticized” word for a place to die with dignity. It sounds much nicer, much more tranquil than what it is.
The lack of tranquility is not for a lack of trying. The tone here is different in that they pretty much give her what she wants within reason. At the hospital it was about managing the sickness, here it’s about managing the symptoms. It’s much more peaceful, much more melancholy.
There is an amazing lady here at the hospital whose only job is to help us circumnavigate this system and this process. It’s her job to get us to not only ask the hard questions, but the questions you didn’t even know you had. As best I can figure she is our personal dying concierge. It’s not exactly what I would have thought the angel of death would look like. She’s much smaller, much prettier, much nicer.
Her name is Teresa and for a job that could suck as bad as this one, she is amazing at it. It’s her job to sort of go through the questionnaire. For instance, if she goes into heart failure do we resuscitate? Sounds simple. But do we not resuscitate with chest compressions because it will likely break her ribs and revive her to a life of not only dying with cancer but also dying with cancer with broken ribs? And if not that, do we resuscitate her with electric shock? What if her kidneys fail, do we allow for them to do hemodialysis; which means she spends multiple hours a week hooked up to a machine. What if she stops eating? Do we put a feeding tube in her?
Or do we let her “go through this natural process” (her words not mine. ) They use the term “natural process” to take away the dark feeling of the word death. They seem to use semantics to take the edge off a lot around here.
These are questions no son should ever have to answer. Strangely having faith plays a sort of agitating role. What if we don’t’ revive her and God was going to heal her? Are making plans like this a sign of doubt? Are we reviving her to give God more time to do something that he clearly doesn’t need time to do?
I’m sort of dealing with a sliding scale on the hope side of things. Not speaking of eternal hope; the hope spoken of by the Word. I’m referring more to the hope of her getting up and walking away from this. Some of the hardest conversations are the ones where she is talking about the plans of going home, of how we’ll deal with the bathtub, or the money. I talk about her as if she’s going home, but inside I don’t think it’s true. For the time being it seems as if false hope is better than no hope. It’s hard not to cry during these conversations.
In the initial phase the hope for healing held more weight. As time has moved on the balance is shifting. I’ve moved from hoping for healing to hoping that her kidneys fail because that’s better than a heart attack. I can’t decide if it’s realism or pessimism or some combination. For sure it’s living life with lowered expectations and redefined success.
It begs the question can someone have Faith and still doubt. Can the two coexist? I mostly have questions, but in a facility built around semantics, it’s hard to distinguish what is doubt and what is questions and if they’re really two sides of the same coin.
The way I was raised was that questioning was doubt and doubt was sin. It would “tie Gods hands”. I’m aware that’s not true now. Can a human really tie the hands of God?
I’m still living in the tension between faith and doubt. Maybe the prayer that Peter prayed is appropriate. “Lord, help me with my unbelief”. That prayer didn’t seem to rattle His cage when Peter prayed it, maybe it won’t now.
Jesus did say that if I had faith the size of a mustard seed that I could move mountains. My mom has referred to this cancer as a mountain that she can’t climb which seems especially appropriate given that Jesus promise was to move it, not to make us climb it.
So even with a little bit of faith this is a mountain can be cast into the sea. I know my mom has at least a little bit of faith as do I.
I guess when I envisioned the mountain being thrown into the sea I never realized about the Tsunami that would follow.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Fat Man Running
Training for the half marathon was one of the harder things that I’ve done in the post skinny years of my life. I’ve said it before but it was the equivalent of strapping a couple of 20lb bags of potatoes on to the back of a skinny guy and running for miles. I ran in the snow, in the rain, in the cold, and mostly at night so as not to be embarrassed by letting my neighbors know that the “big’un” next door was taking on this task.
I was working like crazy. I was super committed. I felt like I was doing something that was so hard, so unique. I vividly remember my first long run. It was 8 miles and it was brutal. My legs were seizing up, my back hurt, my stomach hurt, and I thought I was going to throw up.
I remember when I was doing the long runs the first time I had a cramp. My initial thought, my go to response was to stop, sit down till it went away and then go home. It was then that I had this epiphany that real athletes take for granted as common knowledge: I could keep going. Push through the pain. It’s embarrassing to admit this, but that had never occurred to me before.
I had given myself this mental picture of how hard it was to pursue this, how difficult it would be. I had given myself this subjective amount of pain that I could take. The bad news was that I was wrong. It was way harder. I could take more. And here’s the worst part, I still wasn’t working hard enough. For me to get to the state that professional, heck even semi amateur athletes playing softball for the church league achieve I would have to dig deeper. And so I dug deep. (unfortunately I only had a little shovel)
I felt such a sense of accomplishment. I felt like I had accomplished something that few others would ever do. I found my inner stud and would soon see the pounds shedding, the six pack emerging, and would be walking around with my freshly shaved shirtless chest at the pool over the summer.
That was until the day I wandered into get my race number.
It was sometime around then that I realized 32,000 other people were unique just like me. As I was standing there waiting, I started doing the math that if there are hundreds of marathons around the nation, that there are literally hundreds of thousands of folks who went through exactly what I did and arguably with better results.
Initially my realization of how utterly not unique my experience was brought me down a few notches on the ego ladder. But then, after rethinking it, it brought me encouragement that if so many others could survive what I had deemed to be sheer torture. That If I just realized that this was “normal” training, that I could suck it up and make it through.
Paul used the analogy of an athlete. Even the judgment that believers will face some day in front of Jesus he referred to as the Bema Seat judgment in 2 Corinthians. The Bema Seat was the place on the finish line where the winners were declared as they competed in ancient Rome. If the finish line is standing before our Lord one day not in judgment for our sins, but rewards for our works then this side of Heaven is the race. Paul drew from Olympic competitions to paint a wonderful picture of life.
My friend Ryan Werner kicked butt in the Nashville marathon. I remember that he was kind of beating himself up a little bit for walking for a short distance. He still turned in an amazing time though. I guess I learned that it’s OK to walk for a little bit, maybe it’s even OK to sit down and take a break, but this is a race. I might hit the wall, but I’ve got to press on. I hope you will too.
There statistics are shocking… 10 out of 10 parents surveyed all admitted to dying some day. This is not the first time someone has gone through this, not the last time someone will go through it. It’s not the first time someone has watched a loved one die. This is another part of the race. It’s the part where the cramps start, the pain intensifies, and I could sit down and go home, or I could push through.
Today I’m choosing to push through this phase of the race, this state of suspended animation of hoping for a miracle and preparing for death. Sometimes in the marathon you're running by yourself and sometimes along side someone. My mom and I are both running our own races, but for now we're running side by side.
And should I start feeling alone in this again, it brings solace knowing that God Himself watched his own Son die a slow, painful death. He truly does know. And for my mom, this is her final stretch of her own race. I pray she finishes well.
I was working like crazy. I was super committed. I felt like I was doing something that was so hard, so unique. I vividly remember my first long run. It was 8 miles and it was brutal. My legs were seizing up, my back hurt, my stomach hurt, and I thought I was going to throw up.
I remember when I was doing the long runs the first time I had a cramp. My initial thought, my go to response was to stop, sit down till it went away and then go home. It was then that I had this epiphany that real athletes take for granted as common knowledge: I could keep going. Push through the pain. It’s embarrassing to admit this, but that had never occurred to me before.
I had given myself this mental picture of how hard it was to pursue this, how difficult it would be. I had given myself this subjective amount of pain that I could take. The bad news was that I was wrong. It was way harder. I could take more. And here’s the worst part, I still wasn’t working hard enough. For me to get to the state that professional, heck even semi amateur athletes playing softball for the church league achieve I would have to dig deeper. And so I dug deep. (unfortunately I only had a little shovel)
I felt such a sense of accomplishment. I felt like I had accomplished something that few others would ever do. I found my inner stud and would soon see the pounds shedding, the six pack emerging, and would be walking around with my freshly shaved shirtless chest at the pool over the summer.
That was until the day I wandered into get my race number.
It was sometime around then that I realized 32,000 other people were unique just like me. As I was standing there waiting, I started doing the math that if there are hundreds of marathons around the nation, that there are literally hundreds of thousands of folks who went through exactly what I did and arguably with better results.
Initially my realization of how utterly not unique my experience was brought me down a few notches on the ego ladder. But then, after rethinking it, it brought me encouragement that if so many others could survive what I had deemed to be sheer torture. That If I just realized that this was “normal” training, that I could suck it up and make it through.
Paul used the analogy of an athlete. Even the judgment that believers will face some day in front of Jesus he referred to as the Bema Seat judgment in 2 Corinthians. The Bema Seat was the place on the finish line where the winners were declared as they competed in ancient Rome. If the finish line is standing before our Lord one day not in judgment for our sins, but rewards for our works then this side of Heaven is the race. Paul drew from Olympic competitions to paint a wonderful picture of life.
My friend Ryan Werner kicked butt in the Nashville marathon. I remember that he was kind of beating himself up a little bit for walking for a short distance. He still turned in an amazing time though. I guess I learned that it’s OK to walk for a little bit, maybe it’s even OK to sit down and take a break, but this is a race. I might hit the wall, but I’ve got to press on. I hope you will too.
There statistics are shocking… 10 out of 10 parents surveyed all admitted to dying some day. This is not the first time someone has gone through this, not the last time someone will go through it. It’s not the first time someone has watched a loved one die. This is another part of the race. It’s the part where the cramps start, the pain intensifies, and I could sit down and go home, or I could push through.
Today I’m choosing to push through this phase of the race, this state of suspended animation of hoping for a miracle and preparing for death. Sometimes in the marathon you're running by yourself and sometimes along side someone. My mom and I are both running our own races, but for now we're running side by side.
And should I start feeling alone in this again, it brings solace knowing that God Himself watched his own Son die a slow, painful death. He truly does know. And for my mom, this is her final stretch of her own race. I pray she finishes well.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Some Helpful Advice For God?
I’ve been spending most of my days and nights in the fashionable yet functional furniture at the hospital room with my mother. AKA The Hotel California
It’s almost like they read the playbook from the folks who make RVs. Everything seems to fold out into something that you can sleep on. It’s sort of institutional but with the color schemes like one of those Trading Spaces kinds of shows might choose. Nothing too gaudy, but nothing you would do to your own home given the choice.
She’s got one of those beds like the Craftmatic Ajdustible beds on steroids. More accurately it’s like the Optimus Prime of beds. I keep waiting for it to start unfolding into a giant bed looking robot ready to fight the crime that is sweeping the streets of Grand Island, Nebraska. Which incidentally is neither grand nor an island.
And so it was that I sat with my mom for a few hours yesterday evening. It was I on the folodmatic couch table and her on Optimus Prime. She slept there for hours; which is something that she hasn’t done much of this past week. The pain that she is experiencing is so extreme that it requires what can best be described as a buffet of drugs. Almost enough to constitute an appetizer.
The upside is that she can exist without excruciating pain for those moments. The cruel twist is that even though she is here, she is not. When she is most “here” she’s in so much pain that she’s not here either.
The cancer spread to the lymph nodes in her spinal area and so she cannot for any reason lay flat on her back without agonizing pain. There is exactly one position that she can be in that gives her comfort. It requires somewhat of a team effort to get the bed adjusted into just the right position and then a series of pillows placed in just the right spots. It’s more art than science, and sometimes requires a few shots before getting it just right.
The worst times are when we get her situated perfectly to only realize she needs to go to the bathroom and the production starts all over again. She dreads this so much, and it breaks my heart every time because it’s so painful. I’ve been in hospitals where you can hear someone screaming in pain down the hall and you wonder what is going on. Now I know.
As I sat and watched her sleep last night, I realized that I had never done that before. I wondered if she had ever done that to me when I was younger like I do my children from time to time. I wondered what she was dreaming about, if at all. As much as I wanted to talk to her, she wasn’t there.
She was breathing really heavily. Deep, slow breaths. She didn’t seem strained. She almost seemed peaceful. She doesn’t get much in the form of peace right now, so it was kind of nice to see her like that. Each breath was a reminder that she was still here. She was still alive.
I watched her for quite a while. I was talking to God and giving him some suggestions on how to run the planet starting with my mother. It’s a situation like this when I could certainly see how God could show Himself. One of the people that stopped by this week said: “if it were possible then it wouldn’t be a miracle.” That really stuck with me. It really seemed to make sense. I wondered if God might find it helpful as well.
Bottom line is that this is a stage 5 Malignant Mullerian Tumor. I have heard the terms “futile”, “hopeless”, and “too far gone” over and over again this week. If I were God this would seem like such a great time to show up, do one of those big miracles that He did in the Bible, get it on the news and let everyone know how amazing I am.
There are those folks who don’t believe that He is good. Why not defend yourself God? You did it in the Old Testament from time to time. Instead of one of those dubious healings of a back ache or a leg shorter than the other, how about a big ticket item like a Stage 5 cancer with no hope. That would certainly prove something. Mom could go on Fox News and we could give you some great PR.
I prayed there that God would allow her to wake up and heal her right there.
She kept sleeping.
It’s almost like they read the playbook from the folks who make RVs. Everything seems to fold out into something that you can sleep on. It’s sort of institutional but with the color schemes like one of those Trading Spaces kinds of shows might choose. Nothing too gaudy, but nothing you would do to your own home given the choice.
She’s got one of those beds like the Craftmatic Ajdustible beds on steroids. More accurately it’s like the Optimus Prime of beds. I keep waiting for it to start unfolding into a giant bed looking robot ready to fight the crime that is sweeping the streets of Grand Island, Nebraska. Which incidentally is neither grand nor an island.
And so it was that I sat with my mom for a few hours yesterday evening. It was I on the folodmatic couch table and her on Optimus Prime. She slept there for hours; which is something that she hasn’t done much of this past week. The pain that she is experiencing is so extreme that it requires what can best be described as a buffet of drugs. Almost enough to constitute an appetizer.
The upside is that she can exist without excruciating pain for those moments. The cruel twist is that even though she is here, she is not. When she is most “here” she’s in so much pain that she’s not here either.
The cancer spread to the lymph nodes in her spinal area and so she cannot for any reason lay flat on her back without agonizing pain. There is exactly one position that she can be in that gives her comfort. It requires somewhat of a team effort to get the bed adjusted into just the right position and then a series of pillows placed in just the right spots. It’s more art than science, and sometimes requires a few shots before getting it just right.
The worst times are when we get her situated perfectly to only realize she needs to go to the bathroom and the production starts all over again. She dreads this so much, and it breaks my heart every time because it’s so painful. I’ve been in hospitals where you can hear someone screaming in pain down the hall and you wonder what is going on. Now I know.
As I sat and watched her sleep last night, I realized that I had never done that before. I wondered if she had ever done that to me when I was younger like I do my children from time to time. I wondered what she was dreaming about, if at all. As much as I wanted to talk to her, she wasn’t there.
She was breathing really heavily. Deep, slow breaths. She didn’t seem strained. She almost seemed peaceful. She doesn’t get much in the form of peace right now, so it was kind of nice to see her like that. Each breath was a reminder that she was still here. She was still alive.
I watched her for quite a while. I was talking to God and giving him some suggestions on how to run the planet starting with my mother. It’s a situation like this when I could certainly see how God could show Himself. One of the people that stopped by this week said: “if it were possible then it wouldn’t be a miracle.” That really stuck with me. It really seemed to make sense. I wondered if God might find it helpful as well.
Bottom line is that this is a stage 5 Malignant Mullerian Tumor. I have heard the terms “futile”, “hopeless”, and “too far gone” over and over again this week. If I were God this would seem like such a great time to show up, do one of those big miracles that He did in the Bible, get it on the news and let everyone know how amazing I am.
There are those folks who don’t believe that He is good. Why not defend yourself God? You did it in the Old Testament from time to time. Instead of one of those dubious healings of a back ache or a leg shorter than the other, how about a big ticket item like a Stage 5 cancer with no hope. That would certainly prove something. Mom could go on Fox News and we could give you some great PR.
I prayed there that God would allow her to wake up and heal her right there.
She kept sleeping.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Conduit Aug 4- Resurrection
In my last blog I said that my mother was handed a "death sentence". It was a term I used intentionally because that's really what our doc was using medial terms to say.
So imagine my surprise when I visited a church yesterday and the Pastor read this:
2 Corinthians 1:8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the SENTENCE OF DEATH.(emphasis mine) But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our[a] behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.
I just thought it fascinating that those very words "sentence of death" were the words Paul used in describing his hardships.
I love the next line right after that. He calls God the one who "raises the dead".
Not coincidentally I've been reading the book Surprised By Hope by N.T. Wright. Subtitle: Rethinking Heaven, The Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church.
I am relying on the God who raises the dead. He will deliver my mother. And ultimately I will leave it up to Him to define what "deliverance" looks like.
I truly believe that I don't know more than God, and thus it is nonsense for me to order him around to do my bidding. He sees things I can not possibly see, knows things I can not possibly know and thus I'm uniquely OK with how he defines deliverance.
Not dying is not defeating death. It's cheating death, alluding death, avoiding death our putting off death. But DEFEATING death is resurrection. You and I, just like Jesus already did, will one day rise again from the dead.
1 Cor 15: 54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."[g]
Paul told the Corinthians says that for now I see through a glass darkly. I get in trouble when I think I can see it clearly and figure it out on my own. I don't know if you've ever tried driving around with your windows fogged up, but that's a recipe for disaster.
Like Ephesians says, I've made my requests known. I've made my prayers and supplications. And I'm fully prepared that "no" is just as much of an answer as "yes" is. My kids are uniquely aware of this concept with their father as well.
At the beach last month my daughter Ashleigh was convinced that she wanted to stay in the condo so she could watch Sponge Bob while the beach literally was 100 yards away. I mean, sure Sponge Bob is great and who can blame her for wanting to not miss the ending, but the beach was so close. I literally had to force her out of what she thought was such an amazing existence into the world just outside her door that included the amazing white sands of Destin, the clear waters of the gulf, and peace and tranquility.
Paul was torn between life and eternity. I've got a front row seat to this very dilemma. As good as it is here in the "condo" known as earth, the beach awaits.
Paul said that the people of Corinth helped him by their prayers. I get that too. So many of you have written me and shared your own stories. Cancer is an evil that has plagues so many millions. I truly am not alone.
So many have written just to say that they're praying for us. I've shared them with my mom and it has amazed her and strengthened her. (it's also possible that she's just fascinated that her little dorky son actually has so many friends) I appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers.
Honestly I even appreciate the emails offering to correct my theology. In a strange way even those are encouraging to me that people are at least thinking about me enough to show me where you think I'm wrong. ☺
Thanks to Lori Hughes for sharing with me. You just went through this very journey. It's been amazing to have your insight.
Thanks to Cheryl Hurley and your family for sharing with me your wisdom as you are currently on this very journey. Your words have meant a lot to my mother.
And thanks to Laurie Anderson. I know you've made many trips to Minneapolis for a situation that is not the same but similar. Your words are encouraging.
Peggy Warny in San Diego. Your email strengthened my mom so much.
I wish my wrists didn't hurt from so much typing, I would thank all of you by name. Just know that I appreciated you all.
And just like always, just like with Paul said in vs 11, "many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many".
I hope you don't mind me dropping these notes here. I'm not on a pity search. It's sort of cathartic for me, and perhaps someone could be encouraged as I live this journey openly.
If you're in the Franklin area tonight at 7:30pm please join Philip Peters and Jeremy Hezlep for The Conduit. As always it's at Journey Ecclessia in Building 8 at The Factory. I'm not there, but the work of the Kingdom continues. I'm not nearly that important that God "needs" me there for Conduit to work. Conduit is about you silly.
Blessings,
Darren
www.myspace.com/conduitbiblestudy
www.darrentyler.podomatic.com
1 Corinthians 15: 35But someone may ask, "How are the dead raised? With what kind of body will they come?" 36How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. 37When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be, but just a seed, perhaps of wheat or of something else. 38But God gives it a body as he has determined, and to each kind of seed he gives its own body. 39All flesh is not the same: Men have one kind of flesh, animals have another, birds another and fish another. 40There are also heavenly bodies and there are earthly bodies; but the splendor of the heavenly bodies is one kind, and the splendor of the earthly bodies is another. 41The sun has one kind of splendor, the moon another and the stars another; and star differs from star in splendor.
1 Corinthians 15: 42So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; 43it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; 44it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.
If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. 45So it is written: "The first man Adam became a living being"[e]; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit. 46The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual. 47The first man was of the dust of the earth, the second man from heaven. 48As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the man from heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. 49And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we[f] bear the likeness of the man from heaven.
50I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed- 52in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. 54When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."[g]
55"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"[h] 56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
58Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
So imagine my surprise when I visited a church yesterday and the Pastor read this:
2 Corinthians 1:8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the SENTENCE OF DEATH.(emphasis mine) But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our[a] behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.
I just thought it fascinating that those very words "sentence of death" were the words Paul used in describing his hardships.
I love the next line right after that. He calls God the one who "raises the dead".
Not coincidentally I've been reading the book Surprised By Hope by N.T. Wright. Subtitle: Rethinking Heaven, The Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church.
I am relying on the God who raises the dead. He will deliver my mother. And ultimately I will leave it up to Him to define what "deliverance" looks like.
I truly believe that I don't know more than God, and thus it is nonsense for me to order him around to do my bidding. He sees things I can not possibly see, knows things I can not possibly know and thus I'm uniquely OK with how he defines deliverance.
Not dying is not defeating death. It's cheating death, alluding death, avoiding death our putting off death. But DEFEATING death is resurrection. You and I, just like Jesus already did, will one day rise again from the dead.
1 Cor 15: 54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."[g]
Paul told the Corinthians says that for now I see through a glass darkly. I get in trouble when I think I can see it clearly and figure it out on my own. I don't know if you've ever tried driving around with your windows fogged up, but that's a recipe for disaster.
Like Ephesians says, I've made my requests known. I've made my prayers and supplications. And I'm fully prepared that "no" is just as much of an answer as "yes" is. My kids are uniquely aware of this concept with their father as well.
At the beach last month my daughter Ashleigh was convinced that she wanted to stay in the condo so she could watch Sponge Bob while the beach literally was 100 yards away. I mean, sure Sponge Bob is great and who can blame her for wanting to not miss the ending, but the beach was so close. I literally had to force her out of what she thought was such an amazing existence into the world just outside her door that included the amazing white sands of Destin, the clear waters of the gulf, and peace and tranquility.
Paul was torn between life and eternity. I've got a front row seat to this very dilemma. As good as it is here in the "condo" known as earth, the beach awaits.
Paul said that the people of Corinth helped him by their prayers. I get that too. So many of you have written me and shared your own stories. Cancer is an evil that has plagues so many millions. I truly am not alone.
So many have written just to say that they're praying for us. I've shared them with my mom and it has amazed her and strengthened her. (it's also possible that she's just fascinated that her little dorky son actually has so many friends) I appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers.
Honestly I even appreciate the emails offering to correct my theology. In a strange way even those are encouraging to me that people are at least thinking about me enough to show me where you think I'm wrong. ☺
Thanks to Lori Hughes for sharing with me. You just went through this very journey. It's been amazing to have your insight.
Thanks to Cheryl Hurley and your family for sharing with me your wisdom as you are currently on this very journey. Your words have meant a lot to my mother.
And thanks to Laurie Anderson. I know you've made many trips to Minneapolis for a situation that is not the same but similar. Your words are encouraging.
Peggy Warny in San Diego. Your email strengthened my mom so much.
I wish my wrists didn't hurt from so much typing, I would thank all of you by name. Just know that I appreciated you all.
And just like always, just like with Paul said in vs 11, "many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many".
I hope you don't mind me dropping these notes here. I'm not on a pity search. It's sort of cathartic for me, and perhaps someone could be encouraged as I live this journey openly.
If you're in the Franklin area tonight at 7:30pm please join Philip Peters and Jeremy Hezlep for The Conduit. As always it's at Journey Ecclessia in Building 8 at The Factory. I'm not there, but the work of the Kingdom continues. I'm not nearly that important that God "needs" me there for Conduit to work. Conduit is about you silly.
Blessings,
Darren
www.myspace.com/conduitbiblestudy
www.darrentyler.podomatic.com
1 Corinthians 15: 35But someone may ask, "How are the dead raised? With what kind of body will they come?" 36How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. 37When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be, but just a seed, perhaps of wheat or of something else. 38But God gives it a body as he has determined, and to each kind of seed he gives its own body. 39All flesh is not the same: Men have one kind of flesh, animals have another, birds another and fish another. 40There are also heavenly bodies and there are earthly bodies; but the splendor of the heavenly bodies is one kind, and the splendor of the earthly bodies is another. 41The sun has one kind of splendor, the moon another and the stars another; and star differs from star in splendor.
1 Corinthians 15: 42So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; 43it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; 44it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.
If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. 45So it is written: "The first man Adam became a living being"[e]; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit. 46The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual. 47The first man was of the dust of the earth, the second man from heaven. 48As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the man from heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. 49And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we[f] bear the likeness of the man from heaven.
50I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed- 52in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. 54When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."[g]
55"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"[h] 56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
58Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Conduit August 4- Cancer Sucks
My mother was handed a death sentence yesterday. She got the losing ticket in the cancer lottery: Carcinosarcoma. It’s a cancer so rare that Microsoft doesn’t even recognize it as a word in spell check. It is aggressive and non responsive to treatment. It has already attacked her kidneys, uterus, and has moved to her lymph nodes.
Early diagnosis would have certainly been a better option but my parents don’t have health insurance nor do they have money and so like millions of other Americans there are no annual physicals or exams that would have caught this early. We live in a great country but our healthcare system is damnable to be sure. The folks like myself who are lucky enough to have insurance have access to some of the finest healthcare in the world. But the unlucky ones like my own mom are SOL.
It’s quite probable that she has had this for years. Which allowed it to slowly, systematically and aggressively take over. It is inoperable and worse they’ve given us a prognosis that Chemo is at best going through the motions in that it will shrink the cancer by a small portion. The philosophical question of how much suffering is worth a couple more months on earth.
I would love to have one of those really huge miracles that I’ve heard about on TV but never seen. I can see how people get desperate enough to drive across the country to a “healing crusade”. Most of whom go away empty handed. I’m looking very diligently to find God in this moment. To find what He is doing, and where He is moving. If He has a miracle up His sleeve; now would certainly be a good time.
From the inside of a prison cell, Paul wrote the book of Philippians. From the dank, dark, human rights violating basement of a Roman prison he wrote some of the scriptures that you and I quote and lean most heavily on.
At a moment when I personally would have asked to be put on the prayer list to get the heck out of prison Paul said his prayer was not for himself, but instead for the people of Philippi. “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform [it] until the day of Jesus Christ: Even as it is meet for me to think this of you all, because I have you in my heart; inasmuch as both in my bonds, and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, ye all are partakers of my grace.” In taking Paul's lead, I'm praying that for you.
I’m not very good at this, and to be clear, I’m struggling to find God in this. Perhaps this is the kind of thing where I’ll find Him in hindsight. Watching my mother look her own father and mother in the eyes with their own failing health knowing that she will likely beat them to heaven has been just plain difficult.
Paul also wrote to the Philippians to rejoice in the Lord always. I am not rejoicing in cancer. It’s not happy. How can I rejoice in the Lord and grieve for my mother? I’m not sure yet. Perhaps that’s where faith comes in. Perhaps I have some growing to do.
And as much frustration as I feel right now. As many questions as I am facing about God and His intentions, deep down I know it’s not true. I know that He is good.
I certainly don’t understand. I know that it’s the enemy that comes to kill, steal and destroy. But whether God allows it or causes it; right now it feels like the same thing.
But Paul closed out his letter to Philippians with a prayer to that there is a peace that transcends understanding that could be theirs. He is promising that there is a peace that doesn't come FROM understanding. Rather it transcends understanding. I don't have to understand to have this peace.
I don’t know how to face my mom, how to look her in the eye and be strong for her. And to that Paul said that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
And so my prayer is Phl 4:12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philip Peters and Jeremy Hezlep will be carrying the torch for Conduit on Monday night. I know Philip has some great stuff from the Word to share with you and that worship will be great as well. I won’t be there, but if you don’t mind, say a prayer for me.
I really do want my mom healed. God knows this. I’ve asked Him personally. But should He choose another option; then I’ll find peace. So maybe your prayer is that God can be glorified, that we can be a witness here at this hospital. That what the enemy has meant for harm, that God will use for good. And just like Jesus prayed in the garden, that if this cup could pass from us, then please take it away. Nevertheless, not my will but Thy will be done.
My mom keeps asking if there is hope. There is. His name is Jesus.
Early diagnosis would have certainly been a better option but my parents don’t have health insurance nor do they have money and so like millions of other Americans there are no annual physicals or exams that would have caught this early. We live in a great country but our healthcare system is damnable to be sure. The folks like myself who are lucky enough to have insurance have access to some of the finest healthcare in the world. But the unlucky ones like my own mom are SOL.
It’s quite probable that she has had this for years. Which allowed it to slowly, systematically and aggressively take over. It is inoperable and worse they’ve given us a prognosis that Chemo is at best going through the motions in that it will shrink the cancer by a small portion. The philosophical question of how much suffering is worth a couple more months on earth.
I would love to have one of those really huge miracles that I’ve heard about on TV but never seen. I can see how people get desperate enough to drive across the country to a “healing crusade”. Most of whom go away empty handed. I’m looking very diligently to find God in this moment. To find what He is doing, and where He is moving. If He has a miracle up His sleeve; now would certainly be a good time.
From the inside of a prison cell, Paul wrote the book of Philippians. From the dank, dark, human rights violating basement of a Roman prison he wrote some of the scriptures that you and I quote and lean most heavily on.
At a moment when I personally would have asked to be put on the prayer list to get the heck out of prison Paul said his prayer was not for himself, but instead for the people of Philippi. “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform [it] until the day of Jesus Christ: Even as it is meet for me to think this of you all, because I have you in my heart; inasmuch as both in my bonds, and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, ye all are partakers of my grace.” In taking Paul's lead, I'm praying that for you.
I’m not very good at this, and to be clear, I’m struggling to find God in this. Perhaps this is the kind of thing where I’ll find Him in hindsight. Watching my mother look her own father and mother in the eyes with their own failing health knowing that she will likely beat them to heaven has been just plain difficult.
Paul also wrote to the Philippians to rejoice in the Lord always. I am not rejoicing in cancer. It’s not happy. How can I rejoice in the Lord and grieve for my mother? I’m not sure yet. Perhaps that’s where faith comes in. Perhaps I have some growing to do.
And as much frustration as I feel right now. As many questions as I am facing about God and His intentions, deep down I know it’s not true. I know that He is good.
I certainly don’t understand. I know that it’s the enemy that comes to kill, steal and destroy. But whether God allows it or causes it; right now it feels like the same thing.
But Paul closed out his letter to Philippians with a prayer to that there is a peace that transcends understanding that could be theirs. He is promising that there is a peace that doesn't come FROM understanding. Rather it transcends understanding. I don't have to understand to have this peace.
I don’t know how to face my mom, how to look her in the eye and be strong for her. And to that Paul said that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
And so my prayer is Phl 4:12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philip Peters and Jeremy Hezlep will be carrying the torch for Conduit on Monday night. I know Philip has some great stuff from the Word to share with you and that worship will be great as well. I won’t be there, but if you don’t mind, say a prayer for me.
I really do want my mom healed. God knows this. I’ve asked Him personally. But should He choose another option; then I’ll find peace. So maybe your prayer is that God can be glorified, that we can be a witness here at this hospital. That what the enemy has meant for harm, that God will use for good. And just like Jesus prayed in the garden, that if this cup could pass from us, then please take it away. Nevertheless, not my will but Thy will be done.
My mom keeps asking if there is hope. There is. His name is Jesus.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Conduit July 28- How To Read The Bible
I don’t know exactly how it is when the women get together but when the fellas get around each other away from it all the stories start flowing. Anytime spent on a tour bus with a rock band will verify this. It’s sort of like a locker room on wheels. Complete with the locker room smells.
This makes me wonder if that ever happened with Jesus and the disciples when they were having some downtime or traveling by boat. When you factor in the percentage of the 12 that were fishermen, you know the stories would be great.
Forget about the Disciples though, can you imagine the stories Jesus could tell? Being God and all he wouldn’t be exaggerating or lying and the great news is that He wouldn’t need to. We know from the parables that He was a great storyteller. I would have LOVED to have been there.
“Jesus, tell us about that time you scared the life out of Balam. Do his face right when the donkey started talking.” It should be assumed that since Jesus is God He would be really good at doing impressions. Putting myself in that place, it would have been kind of frustrating to not be able to bring in the whole talking Donkey in Shrek to make it even more funny. But being supernatural and all, it would also be supposed that He was supernaturally funny.
“And that time when you wrestled Jacob. C’mon you had to let him win for a while. Show us the move you did that got the hip injury.” The Disciples couldn’t have known about pro wrestling, but we can rest assured that being omnipotent and all, Jesus would have. Which leads me to believe that it was the figure four that Jesus did on Jacob. (Did you think Hulk Hogan really invented that move?)
And knowing guys, especially a group that includes brothers, you can certainly see how this would have given way to their own wrestling matches. Of course there would be the “oh I could so take you” between the guys, but one would think that nobody ever said that to Jesus. (Even if they thought it, which would have been the same thing since Jesus seemed to know what they were thinking)
Of course, there would be some serious guy questions. “So Jesus, tell me a little about Gomer. I’m still fuzzy on the reasons behind the whole Hosea thing, but after all you put him through, please tell me that at least she was hot. “
“And what up with Elijah and the chariot of fire thing? Wouldn’t that require some sort of cooling system to keep from scorching his tush? Did you push the walls of Jericho down or did you blow them down” (kind of like in Goldilocks)
I mean seriously if I've got the God of the universe in His earth suit at a party, plant yourself right next to Him. You're bound to have the time of your life.
SIDEBAR: If you’re sitting beside Jesus and he was reading the Word; technically he is quoting himself. Which is to say He wrote it. So whether he was reading it or telling it, in essence both would be The Word.
I like thinking about this stuff because it reminds me that Jesus , the God Man, who is called “The Word” by John was there through it all. I don’t think I ever articulated it but I think I used to believe that when the New Testament happened, it did away with the Old Testament completely. Almost like I thought that when Jesus came, that he was sort of tagged in and replaced the other God. (what’s up with the wrestling references. I swear I don’t watch it)
Jesus Himself said He didn’t come to do away with the law but rather to fulfill it. He came to be the reality of the shadows that were the law, to be the real thing instead of the pictures that the law painted.
There is a movement afoot that we should only pay attention to the Words in red in the Bible. The point being that we should focus only on the words that Jesus specifically said from His human mouth while walking the earth. I personally find this approach a bit scary in that I believe all scripture is God breathed. That He wrote it. And so even the black letters are in fact the words of Jesus and thus the Word of God.
I believe this is why it’s so important to rightly divide the Word as Paul said to Timothy. Not just the epistles, not just the gospels, not just the new or old testament, but the whole counsel of Gods Word. It’s why this series is so very important.
We talked about the dispensations last week. About how to rightly divide the Word. This week we’re going to look at the whole counsel of the Word. I don’t have to make something up, the Bible itself tells us how to approach the Bible.
We’re going to take some specific examples, and ultimately I’m going to give you some ideas on how to read the Bible based on my personal experiences, and on how the Bible itself says to approach it.
We’ll do this at 7:30 at Journey Ecclesia in Building 8 at the Factory.
Darren
PS- THE RECORDING PROBLEM FROM THE PAST COUPLE WEEKS HAS BEEN FIGURED OUT. SO THIS WEEK WE’LL BEGIN RECORDING AGAIN. HOWEVER IF YOU MISSED LAST WEEK, I WROTE OUT THE TEACHING IN TEXT FORM AND IT IS LOCATED AT: I COVERED THE DISPENSATIONS AND WHY IT MATTERS. WE COVERED A LOT OF GROUND. I THINK I’VE GOT IT SUMMED UP FAIRLY WELL HERE. www.darrentyler.blogspot.com
www.darrentyler.podomatic.com
This makes me wonder if that ever happened with Jesus and the disciples when they were having some downtime or traveling by boat. When you factor in the percentage of the 12 that were fishermen, you know the stories would be great.
Forget about the Disciples though, can you imagine the stories Jesus could tell? Being God and all he wouldn’t be exaggerating or lying and the great news is that He wouldn’t need to. We know from the parables that He was a great storyteller. I would have LOVED to have been there.
“Jesus, tell us about that time you scared the life out of Balam. Do his face right when the donkey started talking.” It should be assumed that since Jesus is God He would be really good at doing impressions. Putting myself in that place, it would have been kind of frustrating to not be able to bring in the whole talking Donkey in Shrek to make it even more funny. But being supernatural and all, it would also be supposed that He was supernaturally funny.
“And that time when you wrestled Jacob. C’mon you had to let him win for a while. Show us the move you did that got the hip injury.” The Disciples couldn’t have known about pro wrestling, but we can rest assured that being omnipotent and all, Jesus would have. Which leads me to believe that it was the figure four that Jesus did on Jacob. (Did you think Hulk Hogan really invented that move?)
And knowing guys, especially a group that includes brothers, you can certainly see how this would have given way to their own wrestling matches. Of course there would be the “oh I could so take you” between the guys, but one would think that nobody ever said that to Jesus. (Even if they thought it, which would have been the same thing since Jesus seemed to know what they were thinking)
Of course, there would be some serious guy questions. “So Jesus, tell me a little about Gomer. I’m still fuzzy on the reasons behind the whole Hosea thing, but after all you put him through, please tell me that at least she was hot. “
“And what up with Elijah and the chariot of fire thing? Wouldn’t that require some sort of cooling system to keep from scorching his tush? Did you push the walls of Jericho down or did you blow them down” (kind of like in Goldilocks)
I mean seriously if I've got the God of the universe in His earth suit at a party, plant yourself right next to Him. You're bound to have the time of your life.
SIDEBAR: If you’re sitting beside Jesus and he was reading the Word; technically he is quoting himself. Which is to say He wrote it. So whether he was reading it or telling it, in essence both would be The Word.
I like thinking about this stuff because it reminds me that Jesus , the God Man, who is called “The Word” by John was there through it all. I don’t think I ever articulated it but I think I used to believe that when the New Testament happened, it did away with the Old Testament completely. Almost like I thought that when Jesus came, that he was sort of tagged in and replaced the other God. (what’s up with the wrestling references. I swear I don’t watch it)
Jesus Himself said He didn’t come to do away with the law but rather to fulfill it. He came to be the reality of the shadows that were the law, to be the real thing instead of the pictures that the law painted.
There is a movement afoot that we should only pay attention to the Words in red in the Bible. The point being that we should focus only on the words that Jesus specifically said from His human mouth while walking the earth. I personally find this approach a bit scary in that I believe all scripture is God breathed. That He wrote it. And so even the black letters are in fact the words of Jesus and thus the Word of God.
I believe this is why it’s so important to rightly divide the Word as Paul said to Timothy. Not just the epistles, not just the gospels, not just the new or old testament, but the whole counsel of Gods Word. It’s why this series is so very important.
We talked about the dispensations last week. About how to rightly divide the Word. This week we’re going to look at the whole counsel of the Word. I don’t have to make something up, the Bible itself tells us how to approach the Bible.
We’re going to take some specific examples, and ultimately I’m going to give you some ideas on how to read the Bible based on my personal experiences, and on how the Bible itself says to approach it.
We’ll do this at 7:30 at Journey Ecclesia in Building 8 at the Factory.
Darren
PS- THE RECORDING PROBLEM FROM THE PAST COUPLE WEEKS HAS BEEN FIGURED OUT. SO THIS WEEK WE’LL BEGIN RECORDING AGAIN. HOWEVER IF YOU MISSED LAST WEEK, I WROTE OUT THE TEACHING IN TEXT FORM AND IT IS LOCATED AT: I COVERED THE DISPENSATIONS AND WHY IT MATTERS. WE COVERED A LOT OF GROUND. I THINK I’VE GOT IT SUMMED UP FAIRLY WELL HERE. www.darrentyler.blogspot.com
www.darrentyler.podomatic.com
Rightly Dividing The Word- Text form
We had some problems with our recording the last couple weeks. I really felt like what I talked about last week was important enough to try and recreate it in written form.
It's long. I warn you in advance. I'm sure most folks won't have the desire to read it all, but pray about it and see if God would lead you to take some time and go through it. I believe it's important. Especially for those who have misunderstood what I'm saying about not studying the Bible. (I've gotten your emails:)
forgive the typos. i wrote it all in one setting from memory.
INTRODUCTION:
In 2 Timothy 2:15 Paul tells Timothy that He should be diligent in dividing the Word rightly.
Dividing it, a word that means to cut straight. To handle it properly. The Bible is so huge (and using the analogy from Hebrews of it being “meat”) it’s almost like a gigantic roast. You can’t just pick it up and eat it all at the same time. You’ve got to divide it, cut it up into bite size pieces so to speak.
It’s interesting to note that we’re to divide the Word rightly, and that Hebrews 4 promises us that the Word will divide us as well. It divides us up between the soul and spirit. The soul, that part of you and I that is what relates to people. Our personality. The spirit is the part of us that relates to God. There are things that are in our soul that have to be divided by the Word away from the spirit.
There are things that I would justify in my own behavior simply based on the thought of “that’s just who I am. “ We all have our battles and our struggles but there appears to be a movement that suggests that I have to live authentically because that’s just who I am. But going to the Word allows me to let that stuff be divided and made clear to me that it is sin. It’s sin that has been covered by the blood and forgiven, and sin that according to Galatians 5 will reap a harvest or corruption if I continue it.
Whether it’s a temper that I say is “just me being honest, just who I am” or if it’s sexual perversion on which I say “that’s just who I am, I have to live authentically” I have to let the Word speak into me and let it divide my soul and spirit. If the Word has something to say about it, then that is where I must come down on the struggle. I must let the Word be the judge of me and not me be the judge of the Word.
GOOD TIME TO TAKE A BREAK….
AND NOW BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOGRAM.
If you approach the Word as just a book of theology or like a normal piece of literature, you really miss the point. It’s bigger than that. It’s much more sophisticated and creative. It’s much more supernatural than that.
Hebrews tells us that Jesus is the author of our salvation. This book, this Bible, is that story that he authored. At my church we're going through the entire Bible from the big picture. I love the name of the series. It's called "The Story". That's exactly what the Bible is. The story of our salvation, authored by a best selling author... Jesus Christ himself.
This story is divided up into several segments, or as Paul called it in Ephesians, dispensations.
There are many folks who believe that the term “rightly dividing” the Word refers to us knowing specifically about the dispensations. I’m not 100% sure that is what it’s talking about, but it is good for you to know, to understand about the dispensations.
Paul said that he (meaning you and I) are under the dispensation of Grace. God has spoken in different methods at different times that theological types call dispensations. When you look at them from the 30,000 foot view it’s almost like the story unfolds like this:
You and I desperately and imperatively need a savior. But on the whole, the human race has said we don’t need a savior. If given enough time, or ingenuity that we can make it on our own. And throughout history that story has played out perfectly and you can see it in the dispensations.
1. INNOCENCE – GENESIS 1-2
There are those that would say we just need to get back to the simpler time. The time of innocence. Adam was brought into the time of innocence. A time of purity. There was no sin nature. A loving God placed Adam in a loving environment. Love is not forced and it requires a choice. For Adam to love God back it required him to have an option. God did not force Himself on Adam and He does not force himself on us. That tree was the one thing that God said not to do, it was the one choice that Adam had and of course He chose the tree and we know the consequences.
At that point, all of creation groans Paul tells us. We’re in a fallen condition.
And so the idea of having an innocent environment didn’t work. Man, with no sin nature, still managed to blow it even in the most pristine of conditions.
2. CONSCIENCE- ADAMS FALL TO THE FLO0D
The idea of live and let live. We see that in much of society to this point. This idea that we can let our conscience be our guide. God told Cain that if you do well, you shall live. Of course we see exactly how that went. You can’t live by your conscience. As that dispensation came to an end we see exactly where mans conscience gets society. Right before the flood God declared that mans imagination was evil continually.
And at the end of this act, God says the whole world has to be cleaned up. A cosmic “redo”
#3 GOVERNMENT- NOAH TO TOWER OF BABEL
The idea of innocence didn’t work, and the conscience thing blows up so it’s now time to give government a try. God was given the command to govern, but here is a guy that can’t govern himself personally how is he ever going to govern politically. That’s a problem we see today even in our own government.
Ultimately we see exactly how this goes as it crescendos with the Tower of Babel. A tower that was built with bricks and pitch. Pitch was slime. The ultimate government project: solid ideas covered with with slime.
No matter what your political affiliation, no matter who your guy or girl is for what office they’re running for, they’re flawed. They’re not going to be perfect.
#4 PROMISE- BABEL THROUGH THE EXODUS
God made a grand promise to Abraham. A promise of a beautiful tomorrow. Sounds a little like what we hear today with the promise of change. If we can just live on the idea of the great beautiful tomorrow. We hear it blasting at us from presidential campaigns. "Change you can believe in."
God said let’s let that play out for a few hundred years. God promised Abraham this amazing nation. This grand life. He only asked him to not go down into Egypt which is always a type of the Word in scriptures. And what happens? Famine hits the land, Abe freaks, and goes right to Egypt where he picked up a slave girl by the name of Hagar. Hagar with whom he would later conceive a son named Ishmael. And the rest as they say, is history.
Abraham failed miserably and ultimately his descendants are going to spend a few hundred years working in the hot baking sun of Egypt as slaves themselves.
And so the age of promise comes to a close.
5- THE LAW- MOSES THROUGH JESUS- FROM MT SINAI TO MT CALVARY
So we can’t make it work with Innocence, nor with Conscience, nor with Government, nor with Promise maybe if we just had a list of things to do. Perhaps if we had 10 of them.
Which brings us to the next dispensation, The Law.
If we just knew how we were supposed to do it. If we just had a set of laws that we could keep then we could make it work. Even on that first day when Moses brought down the law, they were already breaking it, dancing around a golden calf. Moses broke those tablets that first day, symbolizing that they had already broken the law.
The law was never meant to be kept though. It was always meant to show us that we couldn’t keep it. That we indeed were not good enough. Paul called it our school master. I had one of those teachers, maybe you did too. Mine was German, tall, walked with a limp and was meaner than two snakes.
She was a constant reminder that I was not good enough. She made it crystal clear that my penmanship was never going to measure up to the standards she had set forth. And she reminded me with a yard stick that hurts on the wrist much more than you would suppose.
I can not keep these rules, I can not be good enough. I am cosmically screwed.
When you’ve been to a theme park with little kids you see these signs that say you have to be a certain height to get on the ride. When you’re 8 years old it’s a constant reminder that you’re not tall enough. But what if you had a booster seat? What if you had something that made you taller?
# 6 GRACE- MT CALVARY TILL NOW-
What if you had Grace?
Once your realized that innocence, conscience, government, promises, or keeping a bunch of rules isn’t going to work, what are you left with? You’re left with the answer. You’re left with Grace.
This is the dispensation that we’re living under right now Paul tells us. That God loved the world so much that he gave His only son to pay the price. If the wages of sin is death, Jesus cashed the check. By Grace you are saved Paul tells us. We admit we need a savior. We admit we’re not good enough.
We played out all those other scenes and they didn’t work out, it leaves us with the only answer. With Grace.
#7 TRIBULATION- 7 YEARS- YET TO COME
There are those who would still reject this amazing gift. And it brings us to a dispensation which is yet to come. Rev 6-19 describes it and you and I don’t want to be anywhere near it.
God in his Mercy is setting things in the world right. Even in the middle of His wrath being poured out onto the Christ rejecting world there is mercy. There are 2 prophets who will be killed and raised again from the dead, preaching the gospel. The whole world will watch.
There will be 144,000 Jewish men who are indestructible preaching the gospel.
At one point angels will fly through the atmosphere preaching the gospel.
You want to see some action? You want to see signs? Jesus said it is a wicked person who asks for a sign, and He’s going to give it to them. And he’s going to give them a chance for salvation too.
Ultimately the ones that are left. The ones who after God showing Himself real, live and in person who still reject Him after that. They are the ones who would say I will not have you Lord over me. God will not force them, He will give them what they want.
#8 THE KINGDOM PERIOD. – 1,000 YEARS.
After that dispensation, we see the Kingdom period. It’s a very specific thousand years of peace on earth. Believers will be on earth ruling under Jesus. Those that were saved and survived the tribulation period will be there. They’ll be repopulating the earth. The Bible says that men will not study war. It says that if a person dies at 100 during that period it will be like they died as a baby. The conditions for humanity will be perfect.
At the end of that period. Satan will be released one more time. Nobody knows for sure why, but I think we can safely speculate. There are those born during that period that haven’t had the chance to choose. Those that weren’t alive during the dispensation of Grace. They must have the chance to choose God. Love demands a choice. As crazy and unfathomable as it seems, there will be those who will not choose the Lord.
It says that they along with death, Hades and Satan himself will be thrown into the lake of fire forever..
Which brings us to the final dispensation.
#9 NEW CREATION PERIOD
People are allowed to play out their fantasies. They’re allowed to get a first hand look at the “well if I had it this way then I could make it work” thoughts. If I can just see God if I can just get back to the Garden, If I can just get the right government in place, If I can just let my conscience guide me, and on and on we can go.
We get to the final scene of a new heaven and a new earth coming together. We finally get that the only conclusion is receiving Christ as my personal Lord and savior that I am clothed with His righteousness and not my own. We get to see that is the ONLY way it works. We get to see that we really did need Him all along. And we get to see that He was there for us all along.
We just had to take the scenic route.
CONCLUSION:
That’s the whole sweeping story. The Bible from 30,000 feet.
The reason we need to get this isn’t so we can be “right” and can win theological arguments. 2 Tim 2 :13 (the verse right before rightly dividing the word) says we’re to avoid those kinds of arguments anyway.
The reason it’s important to know how to rightly divide the word is so we won’t be ashamed. Not ashamed here on earth or not ashamed when we stand before Jesus.
You can understand that the reason we don’t have to go to church on the biblical Sabbath was that during the dispensation of the law. Paul says we don’t let people judge us on the days of the week, festivals, etc. We would know that if we were trying to go to church on Saturday to obey that dispensation that we aren’t supposed to walk more than 100 yds on the Sabbath so we couldn’t go to church at all.
You can understand that
You won't waste your time with silly stuff like making sure you're hair is short enough or that you have to dress in suit and ties to "look your best" for God. You won't throw your money into crazy places based on false promises of getting rich. You won't beat up your brothers and sisters in condemnation nor will you allow someone to do it to you.
You won’t waste your time with useless arguments.
You won’t be ashamed.
It's long. I warn you in advance. I'm sure most folks won't have the desire to read it all, but pray about it and see if God would lead you to take some time and go through it. I believe it's important. Especially for those who have misunderstood what I'm saying about not studying the Bible. (I've gotten your emails:)
forgive the typos. i wrote it all in one setting from memory.
INTRODUCTION:
In 2 Timothy 2:15 Paul tells Timothy that He should be diligent in dividing the Word rightly.
Dividing it, a word that means to cut straight. To handle it properly. The Bible is so huge (and using the analogy from Hebrews of it being “meat”) it’s almost like a gigantic roast. You can’t just pick it up and eat it all at the same time. You’ve got to divide it, cut it up into bite size pieces so to speak.
It’s interesting to note that we’re to divide the Word rightly, and that Hebrews 4 promises us that the Word will divide us as well. It divides us up between the soul and spirit. The soul, that part of you and I that is what relates to people. Our personality. The spirit is the part of us that relates to God. There are things that are in our soul that have to be divided by the Word away from the spirit.
There are things that I would justify in my own behavior simply based on the thought of “that’s just who I am. “ We all have our battles and our struggles but there appears to be a movement that suggests that I have to live authentically because that’s just who I am. But going to the Word allows me to let that stuff be divided and made clear to me that it is sin. It’s sin that has been covered by the blood and forgiven, and sin that according to Galatians 5 will reap a harvest or corruption if I continue it.
Whether it’s a temper that I say is “just me being honest, just who I am” or if it’s sexual perversion on which I say “that’s just who I am, I have to live authentically” I have to let the Word speak into me and let it divide my soul and spirit. If the Word has something to say about it, then that is where I must come down on the struggle. I must let the Word be the judge of me and not me be the judge of the Word.
GOOD TIME TO TAKE A BREAK….
AND NOW BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOGRAM.
If you approach the Word as just a book of theology or like a normal piece of literature, you really miss the point. It’s bigger than that. It’s much more sophisticated and creative. It’s much more supernatural than that.
Hebrews tells us that Jesus is the author of our salvation. This book, this Bible, is that story that he authored. At my church we're going through the entire Bible from the big picture. I love the name of the series. It's called "The Story". That's exactly what the Bible is. The story of our salvation, authored by a best selling author... Jesus Christ himself.
This story is divided up into several segments, or as Paul called it in Ephesians, dispensations.
There are many folks who believe that the term “rightly dividing” the Word refers to us knowing specifically about the dispensations. I’m not 100% sure that is what it’s talking about, but it is good for you to know, to understand about the dispensations.
Paul said that he (meaning you and I) are under the dispensation of Grace. God has spoken in different methods at different times that theological types call dispensations. When you look at them from the 30,000 foot view it’s almost like the story unfolds like this:
You and I desperately and imperatively need a savior. But on the whole, the human race has said we don’t need a savior. If given enough time, or ingenuity that we can make it on our own. And throughout history that story has played out perfectly and you can see it in the dispensations.
1. INNOCENCE – GENESIS 1-2
There are those that would say we just need to get back to the simpler time. The time of innocence. Adam was brought into the time of innocence. A time of purity. There was no sin nature. A loving God placed Adam in a loving environment. Love is not forced and it requires a choice. For Adam to love God back it required him to have an option. God did not force Himself on Adam and He does not force himself on us. That tree was the one thing that God said not to do, it was the one choice that Adam had and of course He chose the tree and we know the consequences.
At that point, all of creation groans Paul tells us. We’re in a fallen condition.
And so the idea of having an innocent environment didn’t work. Man, with no sin nature, still managed to blow it even in the most pristine of conditions.
2. CONSCIENCE- ADAMS FALL TO THE FLO0D
The idea of live and let live. We see that in much of society to this point. This idea that we can let our conscience be our guide. God told Cain that if you do well, you shall live. Of course we see exactly how that went. You can’t live by your conscience. As that dispensation came to an end we see exactly where mans conscience gets society. Right before the flood God declared that mans imagination was evil continually.
And at the end of this act, God says the whole world has to be cleaned up. A cosmic “redo”
#3 GOVERNMENT- NOAH TO TOWER OF BABEL
The idea of innocence didn’t work, and the conscience thing blows up so it’s now time to give government a try. God was given the command to govern, but here is a guy that can’t govern himself personally how is he ever going to govern politically. That’s a problem we see today even in our own government.
Ultimately we see exactly how this goes as it crescendos with the Tower of Babel. A tower that was built with bricks and pitch. Pitch was slime. The ultimate government project: solid ideas covered with with slime.
No matter what your political affiliation, no matter who your guy or girl is for what office they’re running for, they’re flawed. They’re not going to be perfect.
#4 PROMISE- BABEL THROUGH THE EXODUS
God made a grand promise to Abraham. A promise of a beautiful tomorrow. Sounds a little like what we hear today with the promise of change. If we can just live on the idea of the great beautiful tomorrow. We hear it blasting at us from presidential campaigns. "Change you can believe in."
God said let’s let that play out for a few hundred years. God promised Abraham this amazing nation. This grand life. He only asked him to not go down into Egypt which is always a type of the Word in scriptures. And what happens? Famine hits the land, Abe freaks, and goes right to Egypt where he picked up a slave girl by the name of Hagar. Hagar with whom he would later conceive a son named Ishmael. And the rest as they say, is history.
Abraham failed miserably and ultimately his descendants are going to spend a few hundred years working in the hot baking sun of Egypt as slaves themselves.
And so the age of promise comes to a close.
5- THE LAW- MOSES THROUGH JESUS- FROM MT SINAI TO MT CALVARY
So we can’t make it work with Innocence, nor with Conscience, nor with Government, nor with Promise maybe if we just had a list of things to do. Perhaps if we had 10 of them.
Which brings us to the next dispensation, The Law.
If we just knew how we were supposed to do it. If we just had a set of laws that we could keep then we could make it work. Even on that first day when Moses brought down the law, they were already breaking it, dancing around a golden calf. Moses broke those tablets that first day, symbolizing that they had already broken the law.
The law was never meant to be kept though. It was always meant to show us that we couldn’t keep it. That we indeed were not good enough. Paul called it our school master. I had one of those teachers, maybe you did too. Mine was German, tall, walked with a limp and was meaner than two snakes.
She was a constant reminder that I was not good enough. She made it crystal clear that my penmanship was never going to measure up to the standards she had set forth. And she reminded me with a yard stick that hurts on the wrist much more than you would suppose.
I can not keep these rules, I can not be good enough. I am cosmically screwed.
When you’ve been to a theme park with little kids you see these signs that say you have to be a certain height to get on the ride. When you’re 8 years old it’s a constant reminder that you’re not tall enough. But what if you had a booster seat? What if you had something that made you taller?
# 6 GRACE- MT CALVARY TILL NOW-
What if you had Grace?
Once your realized that innocence, conscience, government, promises, or keeping a bunch of rules isn’t going to work, what are you left with? You’re left with the answer. You’re left with Grace.
This is the dispensation that we’re living under right now Paul tells us. That God loved the world so much that he gave His only son to pay the price. If the wages of sin is death, Jesus cashed the check. By Grace you are saved Paul tells us. We admit we need a savior. We admit we’re not good enough.
We played out all those other scenes and they didn’t work out, it leaves us with the only answer. With Grace.
#7 TRIBULATION- 7 YEARS- YET TO COME
There are those who would still reject this amazing gift. And it brings us to a dispensation which is yet to come. Rev 6-19 describes it and you and I don’t want to be anywhere near it.
God in his Mercy is setting things in the world right. Even in the middle of His wrath being poured out onto the Christ rejecting world there is mercy. There are 2 prophets who will be killed and raised again from the dead, preaching the gospel. The whole world will watch.
There will be 144,000 Jewish men who are indestructible preaching the gospel.
At one point angels will fly through the atmosphere preaching the gospel.
You want to see some action? You want to see signs? Jesus said it is a wicked person who asks for a sign, and He’s going to give it to them. And he’s going to give them a chance for salvation too.
Ultimately the ones that are left. The ones who after God showing Himself real, live and in person who still reject Him after that. They are the ones who would say I will not have you Lord over me. God will not force them, He will give them what they want.
#8 THE KINGDOM PERIOD. – 1,000 YEARS.
After that dispensation, we see the Kingdom period. It’s a very specific thousand years of peace on earth. Believers will be on earth ruling under Jesus. Those that were saved and survived the tribulation period will be there. They’ll be repopulating the earth. The Bible says that men will not study war. It says that if a person dies at 100 during that period it will be like they died as a baby. The conditions for humanity will be perfect.
At the end of that period. Satan will be released one more time. Nobody knows for sure why, but I think we can safely speculate. There are those born during that period that haven’t had the chance to choose. Those that weren’t alive during the dispensation of Grace. They must have the chance to choose God. Love demands a choice. As crazy and unfathomable as it seems, there will be those who will not choose the Lord.
It says that they along with death, Hades and Satan himself will be thrown into the lake of fire forever..
Which brings us to the final dispensation.
#9 NEW CREATION PERIOD
People are allowed to play out their fantasies. They’re allowed to get a first hand look at the “well if I had it this way then I could make it work” thoughts. If I can just see God if I can just get back to the Garden, If I can just get the right government in place, If I can just let my conscience guide me, and on and on we can go.
We get to the final scene of a new heaven and a new earth coming together. We finally get that the only conclusion is receiving Christ as my personal Lord and savior that I am clothed with His righteousness and not my own. We get to see that is the ONLY way it works. We get to see that we really did need Him all along. And we get to see that He was there for us all along.
We just had to take the scenic route.
CONCLUSION:
That’s the whole sweeping story. The Bible from 30,000 feet.
The reason we need to get this isn’t so we can be “right” and can win theological arguments. 2 Tim 2 :13 (the verse right before rightly dividing the word) says we’re to avoid those kinds of arguments anyway.
The reason it’s important to know how to rightly divide the word is so we won’t be ashamed. Not ashamed here on earth or not ashamed when we stand before Jesus.
You can understand that the reason we don’t have to go to church on the biblical Sabbath was that during the dispensation of the law. Paul says we don’t let people judge us on the days of the week, festivals, etc. We would know that if we were trying to go to church on Saturday to obey that dispensation that we aren’t supposed to walk more than 100 yds on the Sabbath so we couldn’t go to church at all.
You can understand that
You won't waste your time with silly stuff like making sure you're hair is short enough or that you have to dress in suit and ties to "look your best" for God. You won't throw your money into crazy places based on false promises of getting rich. You won't beat up your brothers and sisters in condemnation nor will you allow someone to do it to you.
You won’t waste your time with useless arguments.
You won’t be ashamed.
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